Tag Archives: communication effectiveness

A Talk in the Park – Volume 2

27 Jun

“I saw you first time you walked through, but needed to come up with a question”, the young woman to his right said as she motioned me over.  N. has short red hair, smallish hip glasses, and a huge smile.

Energized after my coaching session with George and his exciting quest to promote freedom and opportunity through education at his church I was ready for another session.   My optimism for finding a new ‘client’ paid off quickly!

I settled in and waited for her to present her question:  ‘Have I thought of everything?’ (a slight paraphrase)

Sit down for this one:  N. and her boyfriend are picking up, packing up, and heading north to start a business in a small town!  Employing ‘if not now when’ mindset, they were ready to leave NYC and willing to take the risk on a new venture.  Amazing, huh?

Currently secured is a location, business plan in process and timeline.  As N. ran through the details in place, I was impressed yet baffled.  It seemed they had

A final and scary step to jump into a new unknown venture! When was your last time?

thought of absolutely everything even as we talked about when she would give notice at her job.

So why the need for a coach?  A reason many of us would need:  Reassurance and a chance to both voice plans and share a touch of trepidation.  Don’t get me wrong, N. and her boyfriend are very excited and very well prepared.  So why?

Style.  Communication and behavioral style to be specific (N. was hip-ly and coolly attired for a warm June day in NYC.    Communication styles explain how we communicate, act, react, and behave.   identifying and understanding communication styles can seem like someone has a magic eye peering deep into your soul and psyche.  Connecting style to behavior and actions can turn judgement into peace.  I think understanding communication styles is one of the most amazing and important tools anyone and everyone can use to understand him/herself – and – everyone else.

Listening, N.’s question suddenly made sense.  Taking stock of her logical and

The DiSC summary. Be sure to click one of the links below to take the assessment.

thorough planning, the flushing out of details along with the ‘need’ to uncover ‘unknowables’, I realized N. is Conscientious, a ‘C’, according to the DiSC assessment model for identifying and understanding ‘style’.

Conscientious people like N. are brilliant organizers who not only develop plans, cross ‘t’s and dot ‘i’s’, but ensure that there are contingency plans and back-ups.  The ‘what if’s’ that some of us blow off can stall and immobilize a ‘C’.

Explaining the power of communication styles to N. made sense.  As she said, she’s not the type of person to go off and ‘do something like this.’   On one level she certainly knew this.  This coaching conversation put words and structure to what she already knew.

Did she find this helpful?  Shrugging her shoulders, she wasn’t sure – actually typical response for Contientous types.  (And good to know for those of us who need and like POSITIVE reinforcement!

How helpful is the DiSC?    I’ve used it with a family owned manufacturing

So true for the DiSC. Though technically DiSC is NOT a personality test!

company that was about to go out of biz because of conflict.  Our first session was tense – by the third session everyone could look at each other and smile – by the fifth session:  laughter and the ability to talk!  More important:  I’ve found it helpful to explain how and why I do things, able to move beyond that ‘there’s something wrong’ shroud.   Try it, you’ll like it!

Here are some sources to take the DiSC assessment free!  If you have any questions about your results, the test itself, or how to use it with a partner, kids, or colleagues, email me:  communicationessentials@earthlink.net


http://www.personalitystyle.com  – Great tool that gives you a nice summary of your style!!  It will take about 15 minutes and  you’ll get a written report.

http://www.disc-personality-testing.com/test/free-test.html – Nice and quick – only 14 questions and you still get a nice read on your style.

In case you’re wondering, I’m NOT conscientious!  (I could use N’s help with planning as many of you know!)

  • Tell me what you think my style is after you take the assessment.
  • Tell me what you your style is and how your characteristics have helped you be successful and what your ‘challenges’ are.
  • What will you do differently based on your style?
  • How can knowing your style help you at work and in your relationships?

Leave a comment with your thoughts, and, If you have any questions about your results, the test itself, or how to use it with a partner, kids, or colleagues, email me at:  communicationessentials@earthlink.net

Who knows where my next coaching “A Talk in the Park’ will lead!  Stay tuned and don’t forget to vote for your communication preference:  tongues vs. thumbs -just scroll down to vote !  And unlike Chicago, it is okay to vote for your friends.