Tag Archives: change

Add value to your goals

4 Mar

Spring is about to burst into bloom showing us a new season, full of new opportunities.  

Now is a perfect time to review  your 2013.

For me, that means looking to my values and how my actions are (or are not) meeting what I hold most important.  After all, for the last year, I’ve promoted values when talking about conflict, money, happiness, work, love – yes, everything.  So I saw this is a perfect opportunity to pull everything together.

Focusing values rather than goals is a subtle difference.  But you know what they say:  change one thing and everything else changes.

This refocus held power for me because I’m NOT motivated by crossing tasks off a to-do list.  (Perhaps you know and are frustrated by people like me!)   But meeting my values, my WIIFM’s (meaning ‘What’s In It For Me) are my benchmark for success.  Personalizing my process has changed the conversation I have with myself about what and how I am doing.  And the only way we can accomplish goals is making them personal.
1.  The process:

  1. I reviewed and rethought my top five (5) values, something I have been doing regularly over the last few years.  If you don’t know yours, identify them now through this activity!
  2. I then wrote out actions I need to take and make in order to meet them.
  3. I continue to take action steps after reviewing why I want to do it, what it will bring me, or how it will meet my WIIFM’s.  

2.  Review values

  • For example:  my #5 value is fun.  Now fun may seem superficial, but for me it’s a vital part of a life well lived.  Life is short and my philosophy is  Borges’:  ‘The shortest distance between two people is laughter.”

I think work should be fun (filled with new ideas, laughter and connection).

  • So when networking events felt like a chore, I knew my frustration was about more than not meeting clients.  These events had the air sucked out of them thanks to my desperation for work.

 

3.  Change awareness:

  • My new attitude about networking is it’s a venue for enjoyable conversations and new learning.  Lately when I go home ’empty handed’, I feel full by what I heard or the people I met.
  • Now I understand which value isn’t met and why, and identity what I need to do differently next time or how I need to reframe an action.

4.  Rewrite your values daily and the actions you are taking to meet them.  After all it’s way too easy to get caught up in action.

Write your values in a beautiful notebook!

Write your values in a beautiful notebook!

  • And this is a simple action, about 5 minutes every morning.  In a beautiful notebook, I write out what I am doing to meet my needs.   I admit I love the physical act of writing and I’ve trained myself to  check in with myself as I go throughout my day – assessing what makes me smile to my gut wrenches.   Equally important, I’ve learned to  forgive myself when I don’t. While I’ve always thought of myself as self-aware, I’m learning so much!

I’ve personalized this idea from Harry Che http://www.goalsontrack.com/blog/author/harry/ (thanks Harry!) who blogged about rewriting his goals.

Start living the life you were meant to live.  

Not sure where to start?   Start with yourself and identify what’s important to you!

Watch the Holstee Manifesto www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDmt_t6umoY to get rolling!

Let me know how I can help!

We all deserve to live life that holds personal meaning.  Have a conversation with loves ones around values.  Create action to support a life of meaning.  Support others to do the same.  

You deserve it.

Advertisements

The Coach is IN: ‘A Talk in the Park’: Volume 3

8 Jul

Why is it so hard to really, truly, share a deep, dark desire or wish?

Why would YOU step away from success into uncharted – challenging territory?

Nabbing a table and chairs for ‘clients’ in NYC’s Bryant Park, I arrange my sign, sit, and turn-on an expectant and slightly hesitant smile.    I look at the movie

My coaching sign! The blue ‘board’ in the background becomes the movie screen for Bryant Park’s Monday night movies. This week’s show was ‘The Wizard of Oz’

screen where I watched ‘The Wizard of Oz’ a few days ago and imagine myself as OZ.   Coaching after all can provide a home, a brain, heart and courage.

Feeling like the Cowardly Lion, I realize I could use a little courage.  Coaching in the Park is scary:  What if no-one sits?  What if I have nothing to say, nothing to add?   Recognizing my fear sends my empathy into high gear.   I’m here.   I have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

After 5 very long minutes I wonder if I’ll only have my own fear to coach. Offering a session  to the young French ex-pat to my left boosts my confidence.    He declines with a smile, telling me  ‘A Talk in the Park’ is a great idea.

Flaunting his French charm, he recommends my coaching session to a young woman in a bright green dress.  Never underestimate a French flirt!     Glancing between him, me, my sign, she considers a moment before taking a seat.

I’ve raised my price to 5 cents, taking my cue from Lucy (see Vol. 2).   She hesitates at the nickel charge.  Or is it my imagination?

What’s on her mind?  Curiosity.  She (I’ll call her WIG, for woman in green) was

Self-published author Garrett Robinson reading from his book ‘Zoe’ in Bryant Park

curious about coaching and its benefits.  She ‘got’ I was promoting my services.  WIG  is a writer for a large print publication.  I’m really, really impressed.  Published writers in print publications occupy coveted positions these days.  WIG’s success arrived BIG and early:  straight from college.

I’m thinking we should switch seats.

Hesitating, WIG starts laughing, a great open-mouth laugh twinged with a private joke.    The joke: she does have a ‘question’.  The joke: she can’t believe she is going to share this secret with someone she doesn’t know.

Using Moments of Awareness I ask:

Q1:  What is she feeling?:  Restless and ready for a change, a challenge.

Q2:  What does she want?: After years of critical writing she wants to try writing creatively, maybe a novel.

Q3:  What is she doing to prevent herself from getting what she wants?:  The usual ‘yes, buts’/what ifs’:  What if she can’t think of anything to write?  What if her writing is BAD?

WIG is secure and successful.  WHY CHANGE and scarily jump into the unknown?

I reminded WIG what she wanted:  to stretch her talents .

Wanting is easier than doing, right?

My suggestions:

  •  Start small.  Stop editing your decision and your fear of the unknown.
  • Write for short periods of time a few times a week.  Set a schedule and timeline
  • Get support and someone to be accountable to
  • Write without editing and/or direction at first – just WRITE.
  • Write for ‘x’ months before editing or judging your work.
  • I’ll add now: WIG,  Write for fun and about YOUR interests.  Keep a list of possible topics in case you get stuck.
  •  Write and find your voice:  your creative vs. critical voice.
  • Then set new goals.

Was this session valuable?  I got a thankfull $5.00 bonus!

WIG:  keep me posted.  Remember you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

How can these suggestions help you stretch yourself into new territories?  

How can you support yourself or a friend to take a new step?